why oh why

Sun, 20 May 2007 19:03:04 +0200

Why oh why can't I get over the man I'm in love with!
It's entirely unreciprocated, he knows nothing about it and he's in love (and has been for a very long time) with a friend of mine (who incidentally is head over heels in love with him as well)
He's such a good friend of mine and is possibly the nicest person I've ever me and pays me more compliments than anyone else I have known/know.
But despite the fact I know nothing could ever happen (as far as I'm concerned he would be well out of my league even if he wasn't involved with someone else) I wake up thinking about him and go to sleep thinking about him. Everytime I see him (everyday) my stomach does that jumping thing, you know, where it feels like its trying to jump into your chest, kind of like a quick burst of butterflies.
I've been trying for months and months now to get over it and move on but it just ain't happening - I can't even find any flaws to him that might put me off (and I know everyone had flaws and I'm just being blind to his) In fact the more I get to know him, the more I fall in love with him.
I just don't understand why, as an adult, who is well known for being realistic and fairly level-headed, I can't just get over him - its not like he has ever shown any interest in me other than as a friend and its not like anything has ever happened with him to give me false hope. I keep telling myself to 'pull myself together' but thats easier said than done.
My life would be so much better if it wasn't for all this (I'd still have the mountains of others issues obviously - weight, job, family etc) but I just know things would be easier..............................

Comments

Wanting what i can never have

why oh why